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J. B. Smoove

" I'm a thief. I steal scenes, I steal opportunities. I am the ultimate thief. I got sticky fingers. "

Opportunity , Thieves

related quotes

" Let me tell about Tennessee. If your car breaks down in Tennessee, you have just moved to Tennessee. "

Car , Breaking

" Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in front of a mirror and never go to a club. We are giving this away. Some people are going through so much in their lives, they want to hear something else that's going on in the world and laugh. "

People , Thinking , Mirrors

" You're trying to make someone wet their pants and you're trying to make somebody crap in their pants. That's the motivation of a comic. Who else has that power? "

Motivation , Trying

" I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand there and do their bits; I break every rule in creation. If there's a rule that can be broken in stand-up, I'll do it. "

Creation , Broken

" Sometimes you got to put somebody in their place, let them know that you mean business and you're a grown ass man. "

Men , Mean , Sometimes

" Sad when you spend more time trying to stay alive than living. "

Time , Trying , Alive

" All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest. "

Life , Wells

" Pursuing your dreams involves you accepting where you want to go. Don't allow anybody else to talk you out of things or discourage you from doing whatever you want to do. You can hold on to your dream and never pursue it or you can start pursuing it. If you can see it, or if you can envision it... it can happen. "

Dream , Want , Accepting

" Father's Day just be Mother's Day the sequel. "

Mother , Father , Day

" Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware? "

Stuff

" You can wait for things to happen for you or you can make things happen for you. "

Waiting , Things

" Before I got into stand-up, I used to be a hip-hop dancer in a crew, and my name was J. Smoove, and my partner was J. Groove. "

Names , Hip

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