authors

A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z

W. C. Fields

" Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life. "

Rest , Woman , Life

" No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree. "

Doubt , Question

" Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. "

Now , Drinking

" Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. "

Nothing , Water , Food

" Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. "

Fish

" Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. "

Nothing , Water , Food

" Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch. "

Nervousness

" I never vote for anyone. I always vote against. "

Vote

" Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. "

Experience , Sleep , Life

" I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home. "

Home , Worry , Being